(via beesarealiens)Source: loki-cat
Sylvia Plath (via pavorst)
When you get right down to it, Steve’s missed a lot.
He’s missed skirts getting shorter, governments getting set on fire, poets breathing in torrid gas in their empty kitchens.
He’s missed Maria staring absently out the window, curling her hair around a finger while her son tugs at her dress.
He’s missed Howard- Howard, his friend, Howard, the inventor, Howard, the genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist, turn into something else, something that Tony sees when his eyes glass over.
He’s missed fathers slapping their sons, mothers holding their daughter’s bony hands, brothers, sisters, generations all being born and living and dying as he’s breathing in the ice under the Atlantic ocean.
He’s missed Tony at age nineteen, standing in the middle of an empty house after his parent’s funeral, after Jarvis’s funeral, after Peggy’s-
And Peggy, oh, Peggy. He’s missed (misses) the clench of her wrinkled fingers in the hospital bedsheets, how her eyes flutter closed on that last exhale.
He’s missed Elvis, and Martin Luther King, and Princess Diana.
He’s missed girls braving through piercings, husbands dying with a hand to their chests, soldiers tipping their heads back at the ash-grey sky and wondering if it’s even worth it.
He’s missed entire lives, but he’s still here, still fighting.
He’s here- 2012, the 21st century, and they still don’t have flying cars that Howard had promised, and he gets a morbid kick out of that.
He’s here when Stark turns into Tony, when he presses the arc reactor into place and avoids Tony’s scrabbling hands, when the blue light flickers back to life.
He’s here when he first sees Natasha grin- not a paper grin, like the practised ones he sees when she’s being Natalie, but a full, glowing grin while she’s caught off guard and Clint’s doing something stupid.
He’s here when he finds out why Tony gets that pinched expression whenever he tries to talk about Howard, why he had always had those bruises on his arms, his face, the imprint of an expensive shoe in his ribs.
He’s here when they’re all sprawled together in the lounge, while Tony and Bruce both try to explain Facebook to a demigod and end up breaking an i-pad.
He’s here when he wakes up to a white ceiling, and thinks for a second, I better get up, Bucky always barges in when-
He always catches himself before he can finish.
He’s here for galas, and meaningless parties and photoshoots that Fury makes them attend for publicity.
He’s here for the first taste of store-brought lemonade fizzing down his throat, for gritting his teeth through street-brought hotdogs that taste like cardboard.
He’s here for the walls coming down- for Bruce to trudge out in his pyjamas, for Clint to blurt out something about his dead brother and then not bring it up for eight weeks, for Natasha to fall asleep next to him with her cheek pressed into his jeans one night when everyone else is discussing battle tactics.
He’s here for Tony with a hand shoved against his forehead, laughing so hard he half-chokes.
He’s here for wanting him, for looking over the internet for the details into the changed laws, for sneaking glances during meetings.
He’s here when he first kisses him- Tony pulls away almost immediately, making some stupid excuse and tripping over his four-hundred-dollar shoes as he half-runs out of the room.
He’s here for Tony kissing him hurriedly the next day, tasting like engine fluid and burnt things and days of un-brushed teeth, and Steve still smiles into his mouth.
He’s here for the slip-up that everyone pretends not to notice- Tony waves his hand, irritated, and mutters, let’s just get the fuck home, I want to sleep for a week, and everyone sort of glances at each other, because they’ve all known it for a while now.
Utterly, absolutely, completely-
[Submitted by: madmaudlingoes
The Allied victory in World War Two was the result of the hard work and sacrifice of many nations. In light of that fact:
—Mr. Stark and Agent Barton will apologize to the members of Excalibur for implying that the Avengers or the U.S.A. “saved [their] asses in the war.”
—Same as above, but to the French ambassador.
—Agent Romanov will apologize to everyone and help Mr. Stark fix whatever the hell she did to everyone’s ring-tones.
—On a related note, “Katyusha” has now been added to the list of forbidden songs aboard the Helicarrier.
—Capt. Rogers is to stop giving everyone that disappointed look.]
#but like look at that expression #when steve’s looking at him and he’s being happy for steve #because steve was always the hero but he never had the physical strength to do what he had just done #and bucky was trying to show him that he’s proud of him and that he’s happy for him #that his body matches the heart inside of him #because steve’s a hero #but steve looks away and he chokes on a lump in his throat and tries to swallow back tears #because now that steve has changed he doesn’t need bucky protecting him and he may forget about him #bucky’s afraid that steve is going to change that he is only going to be captain america and no longer steve rogers #a kid from brooklyn #he’s scared steve is going to get hurt and bucky can’t let that happen #he’s been protecting steve his entire life and promised he always would #that’s why he went to war #so that steve didn’t have to #and yet there steve was #and so everything that bucky went through all of that torture at hydra seemed to him like it meant nothing #and that he’ll be nothing more than steve’s shadow and steve will have more important #better things and people in his life #’who would want me’ he thinks #”i’m alone and i’m going insane”#but he swallows all of that and throws it to the recesses of his mind #because this is steve #it’s his best friend and his family and his home #it’s all he has left #but he’s losing his best friend and on top of that he’s losing himself
i feel like kara is the only one who gets me
(via beesarealiens)Source: shanetaylor
Tony doesn’t know him.
He’s… 90% sure.
Then the guy reaches up, slides a pencil into place behind his ear and takes out some charcoal, and Tony just starts fucking smiling, because of course he would-
Okay, maybe 70% sure.
He tries to concentrate on his coffee- it’s good coffee, really, and any other time he’d be swooning over it, barely able to look at anything else, but he can’t stop glancing over him.
It’s not even that he’s cute- which he is, he’s fucking gorgeous, with ruffled blonde hair and clear, chlorine eyes.
It’s not that, it’s- he just keeps looking at him, and feeling something rushing in his chest that he hasn’t felt for a while, like when he used to come home for the holidays and Jarvis would be standing there with his suitcase.
He taps binary against his mug, spelling out who the fuck are you in zero-zero-one-zeros, and stares glumly down at his coffee.
When he looks back up, Steve- wait, what? No, the guy has his brows furrowed, and he’s stopped smudging charcoal across the paper, and looks up, directly at Tony.
Tony freezes. And why did he freeze, he doesn’t freeze, he’s always there with a witty remark and something stored in the back of his mind to piss anyone off at anytime, but this fucking guy-
is still staring.
After a few seconds, Tony can’t take it anymore, so he- fuck you, he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing- picks up his spoon and waves it.
The guy laughs, the fucker, but Tony feels his mouth curve upwards against his will, and no, stay down, damnit! Frown! Do something!
Then the guy’s up and walking towards him, and Tony feels like he’s at his first dance all over again, fuck.
When the guy reaches Tony’s table, he clears his throat awkwardly. Um. Hey. Do, I, uh. Do I know you?
Tony wants to say, yes.
Wants to say, yes, you know me, I know you, you’re St-
Instead, he cocks an eyebrow. I’m Tony Stark. You may have heard of me? Billboards, posters, I had a TV show once-
That’s not it. The guy cuts him off, and then flushes, shifting his feet. Um.
Tony blinks. Did we sleep together? Because I’m pretty sure I’d remember you-
No, that’s- we didn’t- uh. The guy blushes even deeper, and good lord, where does that blush go to?
Tony shifts in his seat and manages to quell the urge to scrape his teeth down St- the guy’s throat, pull open his shirt, see how long that blush travels down.
The guy squirms, and finally holds out his hand. Steve. Steve Rogers.
Yep, he’s definitely slept with him. There is no other way he would know his name.
Tony grins. Nice to meet you. You’re definitely sure I haven’t slept with you?
Steve says, yeah, I’m a vi- and then splutters himself into silence, his entire face going tomato-red.
Tony half-chokes. You- holy fuck, you’re a virgin?
I didn’t- I didn’t say that, Steve says, looking determinedly at the ground, and Tony starts to laugh, a hand to his forehead.
Steve, graciously, waits until Tony laughs himself silent, and then manages, I could fix that.
Steve starts making noises again, and Tony waves his hand. Okay, okay, sorry- baby steps, right?
Steve smiles, a small flicker of his lips, and Tony stupidly feels his heart thump up in his throat.
He doesn’t blush. Tony Stark doesn’t blush, especially not at something like a gorgeous guy looking at him from under his eyelashes. So, how do you think you know me?
Steve- Steve, Steve Rogers, who likes his burgers with pickles and his guys with black hair, says, I don’t know. We should find out.
(via beesarealiens)Source: likeafieldmouse
Neil Gaiman (via larmoyante)
What most people don’t get is that Steve was in the ice for seventy years.
They get the dynamics of it- oh, so you missed 9/11, and the election of a black president, that sucks-
But they don’t get the sheer enormity of it, how it feels to feel your tongue like a dead weight in your mouth as you try to say, but I only closed my eyes for a second.
Because it was just a second for him- a flicker of his eyelids, the sharp flush of ice under his legs, and it was just a second, one second and the next breath he takes is in the 21st century and someone is saying, oh, my god- this guy’s still alive.
How it feels to hold the case files, to flip through them- unactive, unactive, unactive, one after the other, and the red stamp bleeds through the paper, and the ones that aren’t dead are lost inside their own minds.
What it’s like to look up at the sky, and it’s still the same sky, the same pinpricks of light, and then looking sideways and there’s an advertisement for a 3D movie, and for a long time, it kills Steve a bit.
He gets used to it, don’t get him wrong- he adapts, he learns to live with it, to stop asking questions and look them up later, he learns cellphones and monuments to wars he’s missed entirely, to new world leaders and flimsy cars.
He starts learning the tilt of Tony’s head, how his mouth tips upwards, how to make the team- his team- grow around him, entwining into each other, around each other, to make them see that they’re all more than suits.
It takes a long time, but they end up rolling their eyes at each other at parties, muttering something as they pass, knowing exactly what to say to startle a laugh out of their teammates.
He learns how to get the paparazzi off of his back, how to wave correctly, how to channel-surf.
He learns how to stop needing to visit old graves.
He learns to stop thinking Howard whenever Tony catches him off-guard, before realizing that Tony’s a better man than he had thought, a great man, even though he tries to convince them otherwise.
He learns how to make Natasha go to sleep when she needs it, how to calm Bruce down, how to make Tony tune back in when he’s absorbed in his tablet.
And it gets easier, it does.
He learns to glance out the window and not to get stuck on how bright everything is, to not get the prickle in his throat, the pinch behind his eyes, whenever he sees someone with a telltale flash of brown hair and thinks Bucky, or Peggy.
He learns the tight bunch of Clint’s arms when he’s pissed off, the bark of Thor’s laugh at night, what the Avengers mansion looks like when the light hits it in the mornings.
And kissing Tony is sort of like breathing.
It’s been a while since any of them have had any sort of family, but they grow into it.