Carrizi

did-you-kno:

Source

• Mom: ' well you need to call them and ask.'
• Me: I dont think you understand how much i cannot do that.

I was crying five minutes ago and now I’m full of hate and anger. LJDFL;KJAPEUGIHet!!!!!!!!!!!

I was tossing my teddy bear in the air and catching, it hit the ceiling fan and slammed against the wall and now I can’t stop laughing!

• Me: *tears up* I'd like to thank the Academy.

• LJ: Who would win in a fight, Kermit or Elmo?
• Me: Hmmm....
• LJ: I think Elmo because he'd have his crayons.
• Me: But Kermit has his banjo. He could beat him with it.
• LJ: True, but Elmo has a bigger mouth.
• Me: What's he gonna do, blow him to death?

mycroftsumbrella:

Oh look it’s an accurate representation of me interacting with anyone ever

Depending on the day I can be Mr. Plaid or Mr. Sweater.

(via geothebio)

(via cantgetoutofbed)

backyardskills:

jaclcfrost:

five months

five months of this year have already gone by

you’ve made it five months of this year

and i’m proud of you

oh god i’ve wasted 5 months 

I wasted 240 before this, so I’m not so concerned.

(via bilbochan)

I have an big cut on my leg and no idea how it got there. I didn’t sleep last night, so I know I didn’t get it sleepwalking. I’m legit starting to think my house is haunted and the ghost doesn’t like me.

Ugh, agh, blurgh.

There are really no words for how shitty I feel right now, so these will have to do.

jaclcfrost:

yes

you’re right

that spaghetti strap tank top disrupts the orderly environment that’s so critical for teaching

that person’s hair is such a huge distraction because it’s a shade of blue there’s no way anyone will be able to focus

the length of those shorts is going to make it just so impossible to learn

you got it

In 8th grade I got in trouble for wearing temporary pink hair streaks so I dyed all my hair.

(via geothebio)

tentacledicks:

do you ever just want to grab someone in one of your classes

and pull their face close and whisper

“I am ten times smarter than you will ever be, your opinions are both ill-informed and unoriginal, the career path you are headed on is so overdosed with barely competent imbeciles like you that you will be incapable of finding a job, and incidentally your shoes are clashing with your outfit in a way that cannot even be called deliberately bad. so shut. the. fuck. up.”

One of my biggest regrets from high school was from 9th grade English when I had to debate this girl and she copied her entire argument from a website. I knew because I studied her side as well and came across the article she ripped off. I wish I had called her out.

(via bilbochan)

• Me: WHO THE FUCK TOOK MY oh there it is

and they always freaked me out. I think it was because their pupils looked like subtraction signs and I hate math.